Regrets

Here they sat today, on opposite ends of the bed, stuck like they were in life. Neither too close, nor too far. It ached her heart to be so far apart from him, when there had been times nothing could have been too close for them. What a mightily awkward predicament it was!

She couldn't bear it further, so she stood up and left the room. What could she have said that could have changed what seemed like the thing she most feared. She stood in the hall meditating for a while, then went back and sat next to him.

The sky could have fallen down, but they were not conscious of anything but the heartache.

She held his hand, this time with apprehension instead of affection. "What's wrong babe?" She whispered, for that was all she could afford without letting her voice choke. And she hated crying in front of others, especially in front of him. She was scared he would remove his hand, but perhaps he pitied her enough not to do that. She removed her hand herself.

She looked at his beautiful, silent downcast face as he shook his head and tried to smile.

"Nothing."

It was the hoarse 'nothing' that pained her. He would have told her his problem because he knew she could lessen it, if not solve it. He would have told her anything and everything, from a mere little pimple, to a major life crisis. But here they were, with 'nothing' wrong between them.

And she knew this time she couldn't change it, because he didn't look at her like before anymore. He was lost to her. She stood up and left him alone.

Silently cursing herself, she stood outside his house for a while hating everything she had ever done to him, wishing she could strangle the life out of herself and stop existing, if life was going to be that painful for her from now on. She looked back at his house, hoping with all her heart he would come out and forgive her and things could heal again. He sent her a "Sorry". But the stupid heart that it is! A paper once crumpled can never regain its former beautiful crispness again. Wounds to the heart can only be forgotten, never healed.

But she didn't think of it. The only thing she could think of was that she was about to lose the person she loved the most. And she went back. Again. Stupid girl.

He wasn't there where she'd left him. She called out for him, and found him in a dark corner. Morose. Gathering all her courage she went up to him, and touched his face. All she wanted was to console him, thinking maybe it would comfort him as much as it comforted her. After all, she could very vividly remember the times when simply being together was their favourite medicine.

He moved away and said, "I'm sorry."

She turned around and began to leave. He held her hand, for that was all the poor guy could do. But she broke away and left before the tears could.

Regret, is the most painful affliction of all, because we can never do anything about it anymore. It makes us feel more helpless than animals. We regret mistakes we make. "If only we could have done it differently!"

The only thing we can do about it, is think twice before doing anything. So we never have to face it again.