My first winter morning

One fine day:

I wake up at the crack of dawn, even though it's winter and it's hell foggy out there. "Ahhh.. That's a lovely morning out there Maa!"

"Lemme sleep Ashi.." Comes a disgruntled murmur from inside the blanket. Oh well, at least she responded. Daddy didn't even stir. I leave the room feeling dejected. I'd been hoping I could go driving.

Never mind.

I approach Grandpa. "Ahhh.. That's a lovely morning out there Grandpa!"

"Yes yes, it is."

Cool! Now there is someone energetic, and youthful, and enthusiastic, and…

"I know you're planning to go on a drive. Grab the car keys and a jute bag. I have to go for my morning walk, aur yaad rakhna, sabjiyan khareedni hain!"

Aww crud.

Anyways, getting to drive on the roads of Kanpur at 16 is a MAJOR consolation to the despairing of hearts. I snatch the car keys and walk out into the freezing 4 deg Celsius winter  in shorts. Don't be amazed, girls can wear shorts even when it's snowing. Anything to be sexy.

I step into the family i10 and turn the music up loud, waking up the entire neighbourhood in the progress, telling them that "I got a feeling that tonight's gonna be a good night!"

The day has hardly begun, and Grandpa's already begun shouting at me. "Turn the blasted noise off! And put on some bhajan!"

Seriously???

Like friggin seriously??

Still. Anything for a drive.

We reach the agricultural college campus, full of morning walkers "clearing their heads in the crisp, fresh air". Ya right! Fresh air, meri jooti. Most them uncles are probably gettin' over last night's hangovers. I get a few double takes as I plug in my headphones into my iPhone ( Yeah, iPhone5.. Don't forget) and lace up my Adis, and start running. Now, girls walk out of the house wearing their shortest-shorts with full haute-couture about them, but they feel awkward and disgusted when perverts check them out. Yes we do. Trust me. We girls, are a weird breed.

Half an hour later, I drag the weights (wellll, figuratively) back to the car and wait for Grandpa.

I watch him buy the sabjiyan and the fruits. How these people do that, my Lord doth know more than I. They know which specimen is rotten, which one is perfect, which one too raw, which one too ripe. They even want to taste the grapes. They know the price of each vendor, as if they are long-time friends gone astray, and they use their knowledge to blackmail every vendor. "Voh wala bhaiya zyada sasta de raha hai. Ye TERA kaisa way ho raha hai?"

The aunties pretend they know more about the sabjis than our Ramu kakas do, when they can't distinguish between a bhindi and a mirchi.

That is how I spend my first morning of winter vacations. The rest, I sleep till 12, wake up at 1 (one hour groaning in bed), never take a bath, and study in the razai. Everyone does that. No details required. The point is, NEVER try to be a morning person. It never goes well with teenagers. Even if we are close to seventeen.